One thing many visitors to this site will discover is that I all too often fail at blogging. The reason is that I can never think of interesting topics to discuss. It seems that all of my best words find their way into fiction.
Okay, I was born in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, home of the free-falling gas pods and wild, saber-toothed earthworms. The skies shimmer as massive, aeriform beasts swim lazily overhead, feeding on storm clouds. The earth shakes every few days because Coeus is either: 1. sneezing, or 2. scratching an itch. Yes, we have a Titan buried underneath the city. Don’t ask why. Let’s just say the city finally got the money to upgrade the schools (not to mention the city leaders found new Caddy Escalades in their driveways) , and it beats having a genetics lab that occasionally forgets to lock its doors, which is what we used to have. Occasional fissures in the yard beats dealing with 600-pound, carnivorous chipmunks any day.
My childhood was average…if average means riding hunchbacked Gorloks to school every day. You see, the lava comes within an inch of the topsoil every day at 8:00 AM, and ebbs shortly after. Gorloks are the only creatures who can tolerate the heat. They’re expensive, though, and nasty. One day my friend Little Johnny was bucked off his Gorlok when it got sick of him using its ears as pretend motorcycle throttles. He landed on his butt and got burned pretty bad. He couldn’t sit for days afterwards. He was gentle with his Gorlok after that, believe me.
Life went on. I married and had two kids. The kids are so spoiled with today’s technology. Gorloks are now obsolete; children now go to school on the backs of free-gliding electro-gulls. Being machines, they do not get temperamental. Yet, somehow, Little Johnny’s son, Littler Johnny, managed to annoy his electro-gull enough so it banked ever-so-slowly over the horned baccal dung pits and dumped him in. It took a good two weeks of antimicrobial scrubbing before anyone would get within a quarter-mile of him. That apple sure didn’t fall far from the tree.
Anyway, here is my blog! I am the author of “Kyu, The Unknown, Book 1: The Coming of Dis”, published by the wonderful folk at Writers AMuse Me Publishing. I am currently working on the sequel.
Oh, crap. A chipmunk just looked through my window, and it looks hungry. I’m sorry to end this blog post so abruptly, but I need to get my interportal vaporizer…damnit, it’s in…I gotta go…what do you mean, the vaporizer isn’t charged? Damnit!